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How I lost my Phone

It’s often amazed me how Jesus shared out 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish among 5000 people. The only thing the Bible recorded was him giving thanks and then suddenly we know 5000 people were fed. The same ‘miracle’ happened today.

Had a meeting that was supposed to last for 30 minutes extend to 2 hours. Exhausted, famished I strolled down to Tastee Fried Chicken at Oyin Jolayemi; also going to see Cerberus.

I went upstairs, had a good meal of jollof rice, SALAD and some chicken. Fiddled with my phone, setting my calendar then playing what I’d call: my last game of SpiderMan 3D.
Oh, I was so satisfied with the food,went over to the leather couch while waiting for my ‘subject’. I remembered I had some extra call minutes on my phone to accommodate international calls. I decided to make some long due calls. Called the US, no reply. I had two calls to make to the UK. Call one went through and lasted about 1minute. Then he came…

Young man dressed in an inappropriate jacket came to sit beside me. From the first sight, I was so uncomfortable. He sat down and then, opened a Bible. If I were a lady I would have rolled my eyes because gosh, his appearance should not even be associated with what his mouth wanted to utter.

Done with his ‘mouthing’, he asked for a donation for the building of his church. Giving him an answer that I thought wise in my own opinion, I expected him to just leave but he sat still. A little irritated, I kept fiddling with my phone.

What happened between the fiddling the phone and when I noticed I wasn’t holding the phone remains a mystery. Like…I WAS HOLDING IT, AND IT’S GONE!!!!!!!!!!
Nothing less than a thousand text messages, emails, files gone!

Even as I write this, I still think I will wake up tomorrow and find out it was a dream. Those who know me well know how much I brag about how my phone knows me and vice versa. All my phone applications: I record all call conversations without the other party knowing, my System Seven, Gravity and the many unplayed-games.

One dazzling application is a securities one. In fact it is just way way way more awesome than any other application I have seen. In fact when I finished ‘marketing’ the software to some blackberry users, they immediately got me to install it for them.
The software allows for you to monitor your phone if stolen. You can lock it remotely, or self-destroy it, lock the memory card or gallery, or track the phone by GPS if there is a dongle attached. In fact, the phone application is so tight that you can get a full report of the person’s activities on a line you pre-configure. YOu automatically get a copy of text messages that the thief sends. Awesome application.
The security is so tight that you can’t uninstall the application once installed. Any thief that steals a phone with these features is bound for a hard chase.

So you ask how I found the phone? I tell you what, I forgot to enable it. Mscheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!

for once i became an artist

painting out whitespace
i drew a line from the skies
It formed a man; the lines
drawing round and round
forming a woman in trust
she was rooted on the ground
as the man held to the skies.
i wrote. i wrote the purest
form of poetry and made it yours
i bought the glass and made the frames
sliding them together until my skin
felt the aggression. A few drops of blood
fell on the masterpiece, as i would call it
and i wrote behind the painting
i wrote behind the pain
i sucked my thumb and
waited for the future
because today,
is what yesterday
said it would be…
the future
and you are not here


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