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SlowMoLaif 5000 Now on Sale!!! Buy One Get One Free

Have you heard of the SlowMoLaif 5000. Awesome product! I have been so excited about it. It’s been hard explaining how it works to people.

Okay let me break it down!

  • You are driving your car and then one of these rough ‘okada’ riders drive dangerously in front of your car. What if you were too late, you couldn’t jam the breaks on time?
  • You are walking on the sidewalk then decide to cross the road. Somehow, you forgot to check if the road was clear. You walk right into a moving car. Your eyes widen but… too late! The car hits you!
  • You pissed your friend off so he slings a rock in your direction. BUMP!!! …your forehead!
  • You need to get out of a store and then…it starts to rain! Heavy rain drops!!!! And then you’re wet.

These situations are those we are familiar with! ..kind of! But I tell you the SlowMoLaif5000 helps you avoid these rather annoying situations!!!!

This is meant to be a review on it but I can’t go in details. You really need to get it. Oh, how does it look?

They are capsules. Red capsules(Though I think the next package, SlowMoLaif 5500 will be blue capsules). You have 15 capsules in each packet. You use one capsule a year. Oh, they don’t taste sweet or bitter. Just…like errrr… cod liver oil capsules.

How does it work:
You take a capsule a year. It doesn’t begin working till 24hours after you take the pill(please no overdose). Let me use the situations above to demonstrate how it works.

  • Rough bike rider scenario: When you gasp/yell/freak out, the drug comes into action. The stupid rider and motion generally slow down. Then you can move at the right speed
  • The car about to hit you: When you gasp/yell/freak out, suddenly the vehicle comes close to a halt so you can take necessary decisions
  • Your friend throws a rock at you: When you gasp/yell/freak out, the rock comes to you in slow motion so you can dock.
  • Heavy rain drops: YES EVEN RAIN DROPS! You can pause rain drops. Sort of like in The Matrix where the hero stopped bullets.

Availability and contraindications of the product: I am not sure if there are any more available because of the rush. But you should be able to bookfor pretty soon. The good thing is they exist only in my imagination. So most times, nothing goes wrong as long as I think it out well right before I go to bed.

Today was the kind of day some people would say, ‘kind of sucked’, for me. After all the running around and all for my mom’s birthday party, I had to rush off to Lagos because I had a meeting with one of our clients to discuss renewing or furthering of our contract. I hardly spent 2minutes in private with my mother subsequently so I was feeling bad about leaving her again for another extended period.

Well, I got to Lagos, had the meeting, rounded off fast (and things looked good btw). I decided I wanted to hang out at the TerraKulture and watch my friend and neosoul artiste SistaSoul. (please check out her myspace page. Samples of her songs are on it.GOOD STUFF.) Well, plans changed before I could change my mind. It was already too early to go home, besides I had nothing to do at home. I decided to at least be ‘social’ a little more often. So I called my supposedly happening friends. Everybody was engaged in one way or the other. I had begun to feel this was karma. I was being paid for neglecting many other requests to hangout.
Well, I decided to just go to the movies. Got to the venue, had some food, got in for the movie. Couldn’t finish the movie because I really missed ‘Her’. I had to just …leave. Not like it got better.

Ese Peters then sent me a message to come to Bacchus. But too late mehn. Oh, you need to check out his music too. You know I love the ‘guitar people’. (I have started working on the music aspect of me also. I picked up from where I left on on classical piano and slowly gaining ground).

Got a little unhappy because it just looked like there was nobody I knew again. But well, in all things, I guess one has to find some humor. I got into an elevator with mirrors in it and just smiled at my reflection.( cc: @NoLimit2LifeYes, I am the one and only, VainChild). Oh, not for anything but the fact that I am Seye. I amuse myself so many times. That would make me both Amusing and The Amused.

I had barely come out of the cinema before rain started…oh and that’s a part of the inspiration for the SlowMoLaif 5000.
Had a discussion with world class software developer @Jaenius . She’s also confirmed my need to look into closer into SOAP. Being a core PHP developer, I think this is part of the ‘future’ of my ideas. {oh, just rambling.}

Funny day. But I am still hanging on.

sometimes i speak your name
sometimes i just whisper
many times i’d accept the blame
and silently whimper

sometimes i speak your name
and it echoes. maybe not to you
but my voice echoes back to me
sometimes i wish this distance lame
sometimes these truth claims

and clamors for you.
do you believe?

you are my desire.
do you believe?

you won’t see my eyes just yet
but do you believe?


  • LOL…was beginning to wonder until I got to the part where you confessed you made this all up…You're so VAIN (I do it too, lol)

  • LOL!!!I was almost beginning to tell my self Jeez…this world don finish!Until I saw that this supposed drug is a figment of your wild imagination!!!I'm so glad someone(Jaycee) agrees with me that your vanity knows no end!!!

  • Lol and awwww peleLol at the product!!!Aawww at the day 🙁 It doesn't help that I'm listening to this track called 'Breathe Me' by Sia on neefemi's blog 'Diary of an Unpaid Intern' so I'm kind of mellow already.I know all about neglecting frends. But the good thing about frend is that if they're really your frends they always take you back, and vice versa. Keep trying!!! xx

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